Under the knife…

So, tomorrow I go under the knife again for the fourth time in my life; this latest is what I hope will be the final volley in my endeavor to fix my sinus, apnea, and general breathing issues. In short, I’m getting a new schnoz…

Well, not really. Just a reworking of the scaffolding inside the schnoz; like the statue of liberty getting some new girders (as opposed to new garters).

And wouldn’t you know it, in my own Michael Moore moment, in the eleventh hour the insurance company has denied coverage for one of the three procedures that my surgeon was to perform. The “reason” given: “not medically necessary.” When I called said insurance company to inquire further, the physician who signed off on this did not leave any notes or further information as to how he/she arrived at this conclusion.

So, let me get this straight – a doctor who doesn’t know me, who has never met me or examined me, has determined what I need in terms of medical intervention. Welcome to the American insurance business…

And I can totally tell you that what’s at play here is a “one size fits all” approach to healthcare. Many people who are diagnosed with sleep apnea have gained weight or have obesity issues; that’s not the case with me (in fact, every person who has examined me along the way has always started by commenting that they are suprised when they see me in person after looking at my chart because I look like I shouldn’t be a candidate for apnea). Apnea is either neurologically driven or structurally driven; my sleep study showed that it’s structural, not originating in the brain, so it would seem to reason that if the structure is the problem, changing the structure could be a cure. I know of several people who were over-weight and through weight-loss were able to alleviate their apnea symptoms; as someone who is not over-weight, this avenue is not an option for me, but obviously trimming some of the tissue in the back of the throat could be. This is the procedure that the insurance company has denied.

They want the quick fix (which they think will be more cost-effective in the long run): you have apnea? here’s a CPAP machine, that’s how we “treat” it. Next!”

The CPAP is not a treatment, it’s a means of forcing pressurized air into the nasal cavity when the patient desat’s to the point of losing respirations; in other words (or to put it in terms that my brethren in the anti-violence movement can understand) it’s not prevention it’s intervention. This approach does not take into account the unique circumstances that could be at play with my particular biological, physiological reality as a patient. It does not take into account the reality of me (and by the way, I’m the paying customer; remember me? – I’m the one who is paying for your company to exist; I’m the one who pays your salary…)

So, if I should happen to survive the anesthesia and all tomorrow, I’m going to appeal this decision to the hilt. And assuming I am successful, this company, that was so concerned with saving a buck, will end up paying for surgery TWICE! I mean, never mind how angry I am as the patient, as a paying customer of this company, I’m appalled at the blatantly stupid decisions. This is going to end up costing us all more in the long run.

I think I’m going to buy Sicko for everyone on my X-mas list…

by George…

I was cleaning out computer files and came across this text snippet, which I had at one point hanging on my office wall…

It is from the U.S. Declaration of Independence, and refers to King George of England… but clearly it could refer to our own “monarch”…

“He is at this time transporting large Armies of foreign Mercenaries to compleat the works of death, desolation and tyranny, already begun with circumstances of Cruelty and perfidy scarcely paralleled in the most barbarous ages, and totally unworthy the Head of a civilized nation.”

visitors…

The Guest House

This being human is a guest house.
Every morning a new arrival.

A joy, a depression, a meanness,
some momentary awareness comes
as an unexpected visitor.

Welcome and entertain them all!
Even if they’re a crowd of sorrows,
who violently sweep your house
empty of its furniture,
still, treat each guest honorably.
He may be clearing you out
for some new delight.

The dark thought, the shame, the malice,
meet them at the door laughing,
and invite them in.

Be grateful for whoever comes,
because each has been sent
as a guide from beyond.
 
~ Rumi ~

ether or…

Tonight I embark on an experiment of sorts; I’m participating in a four day enlightenment intensive… sort of a retreat for the “soul” (whatever that means to you)… or, as I am trying to frame it for myself, a vision quest…

I’m both looking forward to it, and slightly trepidatious; this could definitely move stuff (metaphorically speaking) which has kept me somewhat stuck in a rut the last couple of years of my life — that’s why I’m doing it in the first place… and like most life-changing events that brings with it the promise of the new and the fear of losing grip with the things you’ve always identified yourself with for years on end (even if that “thing” is leftover pain from a failed relationship or lost loved one that you can’t change and should have put to rest eons ago…).

Does that make sense?

At any rate, since I’ll be cut off completely for several days, you’ll all just have to wait until next week when I get back and I’ll hopefully have some insights, stories, reflections to share.

Unless I reach complete enlightenment and just vaporize into the ionosphere…
(from ethernet to ether, as it t’were…).

human intention…

Add to the ever growing list of wonderful minds/work that I’ve been exposed to thanks to PBS, architect William McDonough.

He was one of four (I think… math never was my strong suit) designers/architects profiled in the fourth installment of the series Design: e2 looking at construction and the environment. His thinking is really clear, articulate, intelligent and thought-provoking.

A quick search on YouTube turned up a talk of his from the TED conference 2005:
http://youtube.com/watch?v=IoRjz8iTVoo. It’s about 20 min. but worth the viewing…

The “take home” quote: “How do we love all the children of all species for all time?”

Sounds like a species mission statement to me…

{addendum: currently reading Cradle 2 Cradle, a fascinating book. They are also building a community website}