Author Archives: Stephen Montagna

De-pression

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cross posted from Facebook (sorry to my friends for the redundancy…); I was in a whimsical mood yesterday (must have been all the Robitussin in my system), and I re-tooled a Cole Porter classic:

The year is young, the cupboard’s bare,
and you really need some new clothes to wear,
It’s de-frightful, it’s de-vicious, it’s De-pression.

I understand the reason why
You’re strapped for cash, ’cause so am I
It’s de-Wall Street, it’s the de-conomy, it’s De-pression.

You can tell at a glance very little’s left of your balance
You can hear your dear Mother murmering low, “do you need some dough?”

So please be sweet, my CPA, and when I ask you could you say
It’s protected, it’s diversified, it’s impervious, it’s retirement,
Not, it’s delightful, it’s delicious, it’s de limit, it’s De-pression!

 

Time

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An email earlier tonight informed me that a fellow I practice Aikido with in Madison lost his son in a car accident on Christmas Eve.

The son, all of eighteen, had a car accident up in MN, where I believe he had just started going to school.

I have never had a son; but those who know me will understand that hearing this news was a ghost-like experience for me. Sam, the son of my good friend and supervisor, and to whom I always felt a mentor if not a parent, lost his life in a car accident on a winter night nearly four years ago. He had just turned eighteen.

I am almost stunned into silence. Life, or at least Time, keeps marching forward; in this culture we are not supposed to dwell upon the past – yet if we do not heed it we are doomed to repeat it. I try to find balance, but these days I seem to feel more haunted than forward thinking.

What is our life, really? A succession of inhilations and exhalations; an intertwined internet of biology, nurture, stimuli, response, and cultural preconceptions which we set to the tune of the ticking of a clock.

Midnight approaches out here on the East coast. A flipping of the page, a rolling over of another digit on the celestial odometer. A new year. May we find new ways to create peace, foster creativity, balance our economy, and heal from those old wounds.

Disagree II

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Thanks to Guy Kawasaki for tweeting this post from Psychology Today (PT): “Women Have Better Things To Do Than Make Money (Part II).”

The author, Satoshi Kanazawa, wrote a two-part piece looking at discrepancies in salaries along gender lines from an evolutionary standpoint. Well written piece, even though I whole heartedly disagree with his premise. My response, just posted to the comments section on the PT blogs:

While it’s true that there are differences between genders, the vast majority of “difference” is largely attributed to a much out-dated value system that continues to view female attributes (or anything presumed to be feminine) as less-than, or of lesser value (either monetarily or inherently), than that which is masculine or male.
It is not that men seek achievement in their work, but rather that they live in a culture that continues to tell men that they should seek such achievement, and that such achievement is their means of having value (and gaining not only a salary but the attention of women); this is the same culture that perpetuates a billion-dollar pornography industry and continues to tell women that their only means of having value within the culture is through the use of their body and sexuality.
It is not, as Mr. Browne puts it, that “many jobs that pay higher wages require their occupants to work longer hours…or work in dangerous and unpleasant conditions” but rather that men are raised in a culture that teaches us not to complain about such conditions – lest we be labeled “wimps”, or worse: women.
And it is not that “women are unwilling to pay the price and make the necessary sacrifices” but rather that they’ve come to understand nobody should be treated in an inhumane way just because you’re providing a salary.
With no intended disrespect to Mr. Kanazawa, nor disregard to the field of evolutionary psychology (which has many good things to teach us), it seems a bit reckless to analyze the monetary realities of our current culture from an evolutionary perspective without putting in context or calling into question the cultural imperatives that continue to reinforce and exalt masculine identity at the expense of equality.

Gifts

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This is a tough time. Life ebbs and flows, and we each, in turn, experience happiness and pain, elation and depression, triumph and defeat; one can not always have it easy, good, or your own way. What would life be like if that were the case? We’d have to call it something else.

So, those who know me know that this year, 2008, has been a particularly tough one in that I have spent the entire year (and the preceding six months) unemployed. Now, my overall life circumstances are not that down-trodden or dire, but since we’re all the lead character in our own lives, when something befalls us it often seems particularly harsh. As I write this, and the financial realities of the nation have played out over the last three or four months, I fear more and more that many of my friends and dear ones will come to understand what I’ve been through first hand.

Every year, the Xmas holidays are a time to take stock, but it seems there’s an extra edge to that process for me this year. While I won’t use this public space as the place to unfurl all my internal entanglements (you folks have better things to do with your time… I hope), I would like to share that despite the challenges of the past twelve (o.k., nineteen) months, I have been lucky to be able to be home with family to celebrate the holidays, and to be surrounded by friends, both new and old.

Last night, I drove out to a small gathering of old High School friends; it’s amazing to me on some level that we’ve kept in touch all these years (facilitated, to be sure, by the stubborn and persistent prodding by one of those among us). There is a special joy in being able to keep in touch, and to watch the process of growth, both in myself and in them, and in having some of my own self reflected back at me (at a time when there’s been very little coming back; those of us among the unemployed job hunters will tell you, these days it’s almost as if you’ve rolled up your resumé, put it in a glass bottle, and sent it adrift on the tide, hoping it will catch someone’s attention; it’s rare to even receive a rejection phone call, email, or letter). 

These gatherings are even more spectacular to me when I remember that many of us no longer live in the same state, some are tackling family and child-rearing obligations, and that we often have divisive view points politically, socially, or even religiously. Yet some how, the bond we share by virtue of our shared adolescent experience, and perhaps perpetual curiosity of how this journey called life unfolds, keeps us coming back to banter, wisecrack, and check in with one another.

So on this day, I’m doing my best to let my sleeping dogs (joblessness, anger over Prop 8 and the financial bailout situation, and general anxiety over what the future may or may not hold) lay, and focus on the gifts I have in my life that always keep giving.

Happy Holidays to you and yours…

Old Tools – December, 2008

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Old Tools – December, 2008

Originally uploaded by sdmonty

Boston got a bit of snow and ice today, so I suited up and helped Dad clear the driveway.

When it came time to do the front and back steps and walkways, which are narrow, brick and do not lend themselves to the large, plow-like shovels we used to clear the driveway. So, I went into the garage and pulled out this small, red shovel I had as a kid; this thing must have been bought in 1973… and of course it still works just fine.

This flies in the face of traditional American capitalist existence. After all, our principal duty is to consume, consume, consume (or, as our current leader invoked after we were so viciously attacked in 2001, “go out and shop”). We’re supposed to “keep up with the Jones”, and have the latest, greatest do-dad. As a confirmed geek, I myself have been guilty of buying, or merely coveting, that snazzy new iPod or flat-panel television (or, if any of my relatives are reading this and there’s still time in the X-mas shopping season, a new MacBook Pro…).

In contrast, here is a tool, bought over thirty-five years ago, made of wood and steel, that has held together and does not need replacing. I can’t help but wonder, if we built more things like this, would we have avoided the rabid consumption which has pitched the economy into a tail-spin and the ecosystems of the planet into disarray?

closer shot of red shovel

closer shot of red shovel